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Thread: Dementia

  1. #11
    Post Ban marsbars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ando60 View Post
    My Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's when he was 79....

    It was very, very sad to see him that way after many years of long hours chatting to him about work ( BAES ), football and cricket..

    Towards the end of his life he didn't even know who anyone was - on one occasion he ordered my mum to get out of their house because he thought she was a stranger !!

    One of the things that Alzheimer's patients do is get very protective about money and my Dad used to draw a lot of money from the cash point and " squirrel " it away... in fact there are large amounts of money that he drew out, which we haven't found to this day...

    One other thing that alzheimer patients do, is get up in the night and start wandering about and that was ultimately what lead to my Dad ending up in hospital. ... he got up one night, spilt some milk on the floor and then proceeded to slip on it and ended up in hospital.......

    A very upsetting disease.......
    Alex Neil ďThis club has had a certain style for four years and Iím trying to change that and the style I want to play is the complete opposite to that.Ē

  2. #12
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    Thanks again guys. Sad story for you Ando.

    We'll have to watch out for the squirrelling away of money... but at the moment, it looks the other way. She came into the room and gave me £10 for the kids three times in the hour before she left. Last kid's birthday.. 2 cards, each with £20 in and she duplicated a big cheque sent to me. Heaven knows who else she's double-paying!

    I'm still unsettled about whether it's best to accept all behaviour unquestioningly, or whether to 'correct' her / inform her that she's being upsetting. I suppose I just have to make a judgement as people will be different.

  3. #13
    Coaching Staff prestonmadhouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Thanks again guys. Sad story for you Ando.

    We'll have to watch out for the squirrelling away of money... but at the moment, it looks the other way. She came into the room and gave me £10 for the kids three times in the hour before she left. Last kid's birthday.. 2 cards, each with £20 in and she duplicated a big cheque sent to me. Heaven knows who else she's double-paying!

    I'm still unsettled about whether it's best to accept all behaviour unquestioningly, or whether to 'correct' her / inform her that she's being upsetting. I suppose I just have to make a judgement as people will be different.
    Even though she passed the doctors assessment, doesnít mean that she does not have dementia or something similar. You can go back to the doctor alone and explain all the things that youíre experiencing. It helps build a case for her to get recognition and treatment.
    As for correcting her or pulling her up, it quite possibly will be a waste of time, as she will become very defensive and upset.
    Itís all part of dementia and itís not really her fault.
    Good luck with going forward with your family.

  4. #14
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    Hi mate, sorry to hear your story, I went through a parent having dementia and was really lucky to have a sister who is a nurse and watching her handle him and other patients when he was hospitalized gave me a few pointers on how to deal with it.

    So the main advice I can give you is to give out the perception that what shes saying has some credence so maybe say I'll have a word with my brother and we'll deal with it or even say something like oh thats strange because I saw my brother clearing up yesterday wonder how its got so bad again, no worries we'll get it sorted, why don't you sit down and have a cup of tea in the mean time eh?. Quick as you like and then try and extract everyone from the moment (don't worry you don't have to run round clearing up!). Often, the worst thing you can do with a dementia patient is argue with them or make them feel what they are saying is crazy even when it is. The proviso is of course that if what she is doing is likely to put her in a dangerous situation you may need to be a bit more forceful but even then, distraction is a much better idea that restraining or verbally scolding her. Unfortunately with dementia the reality is that you are dealing with an adult who is no longer an adult all the time so reasoning or arguing with them is like trying to reason or argue with a kid in a strop except you can't send an adult to bed or to sit on the naughty step.

    As time goes on you are likely to have some wierd ass conversations and will need to learn how to run with them to deflect from the situation - I saw my sister talk about a herd of cows that were outside the ward in the RPH just being moved on by one of the lads to an old farmer who was worried about them (he hadn't kept cows for 20 years), another time she told a guy who had served on ships in his youth and thought we were all at sea (again in the RPH) that the captain was coming round to inspect so he needed to get back on the ward (he'd been wandering all night). The main thing is that this makes them feel safe and calms them down because for the 2 guys in my dads ward that was their reality. One thought he was back on his farm, the other back on his old ship.

    I hope some of this helps - obviously every case is different but you've made the first important step and that is to try and get as much information as possible and not try and deal with this alone. Good luck.

  5. #15
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    You can read all the leaflets you like, but a personal story and advice like that from Bristol White is extremely valuable. Thanks very much for taking so much time and trouble to construct such a helpful post.

  6. #16
    Forum Patron Liberation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    You can read all the leaflets you like, but a personal story and advice like that from Bristol White is extremely valuable. Thanks very much for taking so much time and trouble to construct such a helpful post.

    I think one thing has been established.... Full on assault and challenge is utterly pointless... Go with the flow and compromise is they way forward...In short patience and sympathy... best of luck.
    Vote For John Brown

  7. #17
    Post Ban marsbars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prestonmadhouse View Post
    Even though she passed the doctors assessment, doesnít mean that she does not have dementia or something similar. You can go back to the doctor alone and explain all the things that youíre experiencing. It helps build a case for her to get recognition and treatment.
    As for correcting her or pulling her up, it quite possibly will be a waste of time, as she will become very defensive and upset.
    Itís all part of dementia and itís not really her fault.
    Good luck with going forward with your family.
    I agree. GP's refer into specialist services for specialist assessments and I think that's whats needed
    Alex Neil ďThis club has had a certain style for four years and Iím trying to change that and the style I want to play is the complete opposite to that.Ē

  8. #18
    Coaching Staff stf4ever's Avatar
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    Grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 10 years ago. Have watched him go through the upsetting decline of forgetting what he was going to the fridge for to currently residing in a carehome, a shell of his former self, unable to speak, recognise, stand or much else. The best policy has always been reassurance. The dreadfully upsetting part is when they no longer trust your reassurance because they don't recognise you. My advice would be similar to already posted, say we will get it sorted and move subject to something more benign. I remember my Dad cutting his Dad's hair when he muttered something along the lines of, "you need to hurry, the bus home is due in 20 minutes" (bearing in mind he was living in the home at the time). My dad replied with "I'll get you all finished up in 10 and you'll be on that bus no problem, now tell me about Tom Finney" and the problem was forgotten. The best advice I can give is be there. As horrible as it sounds the reality is you want to remember as much as you can about how they are/were before the illness really took ahold.

  9. #19
    Coaching Staff Winkytinky's Avatar
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    I work with dementia patients day in day out, my own grandparents are both at different stages of it now, all the advice above is good, talk to he/she as normal, embrace their reality, talk to them about their past (best conversations ever) it's an awful disease but they still hear some of what we are saying, my favourite service user is in the end stages of V dementia, he's non verbal and can't move but yet I see a twinkle in his eye when I say something funny when I'm looking after him, He deffo knows what is going on around him even though he can't say so, just give her love and indulge what she thinks is going on.

    Sent from my HTC Desire 610 using Tapatalk

  10. #20
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    My mother has been recently diagnosed with early stages of dementia.

    She was also suffering from Psychosis following the death of my father. The mental health team have prescribed her with two sorts of medication, one for each condition Olanzapine and Donepezil, which are making her life very miserable.

    Has anyone on here had any experience with these medications, particularly the first one for the psychosis? She's turned into a zombie after being on this for 8 months?

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