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Thread: Dementia

  1. #11
    Manager marsbars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ando60 View Post
    My Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's when he was 79....

    It was very, very sad to see him that way after many years of long hours chatting to him about work ( BAES ), football and cricket..

    Towards the end of his life he didn't even know who anyone was - on one occasion he ordered my mum to get out of their house because he thought she was a stranger !!

    One of the things that Alzheimer's patients do is get very protective about money and my Dad used to draw a lot of money from the cash point and " squirrel " it away... in fact there are large amounts of money that he drew out, which we haven't found to this day...

    One other thing that alzheimer patients do, is get up in the night and start wandering about and that was ultimately what lead to my Dad ending up in hospital. ... he got up one night, spilt some milk on the floor and then proceeded to slip on it and ended up in hospital.......

    A very upsetting disease.......
    Alex Neil ďThis club has had a certain style for four years and Iím trying to change that and the style I want to play is the complete opposite to that.Ē

  2. #12
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    Thanks again guys. Sad story for you Ando.

    We'll have to watch out for the squirrelling away of money... but at the moment, it looks the other way. She came into the room and gave me £10 for the kids three times in the hour before she left. Last kid's birthday.. 2 cards, each with £20 in and she duplicated a big cheque sent to me. Heaven knows who else she's double-paying!

    I'm still unsettled about whether it's best to accept all behaviour unquestioningly, or whether to 'correct' her / inform her that she's being upsetting. I suppose I just have to make a judgement as people will be different.

  3. #13
    Coaching Staff prestonmadhouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Thanks again guys. Sad story for you Ando.

    We'll have to watch out for the squirrelling away of money... but at the moment, it looks the other way. She came into the room and gave me £10 for the kids three times in the hour before she left. Last kid's birthday.. 2 cards, each with £20 in and she duplicated a big cheque sent to me. Heaven knows who else she's double-paying!

    I'm still unsettled about whether it's best to accept all behaviour unquestioningly, or whether to 'correct' her / inform her that she's being upsetting. I suppose I just have to make a judgement as people will be different.
    Even though she passed the doctors assessment, doesnít mean that she does not have dementia or something similar. You can go back to the doctor alone and explain all the things that youíre experiencing. It helps build a case for her to get recognition and treatment.
    As for correcting her or pulling her up, it quite possibly will be a waste of time, as she will become very defensive and upset.
    Itís all part of dementia and itís not really her fault.
    Good luck with going forward with your family.

  4. #14
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    Hi mate, sorry to hear your story, I went through a parent having dementia and was really lucky to have a sister who is a nurse and watching her handle him and other patients when he was hospitalized gave me a few pointers on how to deal with it.

    So the main advice I can give you is to give out the perception that what shes saying has some credence so maybe say I'll have a word with my brother and we'll deal with it or even say something like oh thats strange because I saw my brother clearing up yesterday wonder how its got so bad again, no worries we'll get it sorted, why don't you sit down and have a cup of tea in the mean time eh?. Quick as you like and then try and extract everyone from the moment (don't worry you don't have to run round clearing up!). Often, the worst thing you can do with a dementia patient is argue with them or make them feel what they are saying is crazy even when it is. The proviso is of course that if what she is doing is likely to put her in a dangerous situation you may need to be a bit more forceful but even then, distraction is a much better idea that restraining or verbally scolding her. Unfortunately with dementia the reality is that you are dealing with an adult who is no longer an adult all the time so reasoning or arguing with them is like trying to reason or argue with a kid in a strop except you can't send an adult to bed or to sit on the naughty step.

    As time goes on you are likely to have some wierd ass conversations and will need to learn how to run with them to deflect from the situation - I saw my sister talk about a herd of cows that were outside the ward in the RPH just being moved on by one of the lads to an old farmer who was worried about them (he hadn't kept cows for 20 years), another time she told a guy who had served on ships in his youth and thought we were all at sea (again in the RPH) that the captain was coming round to inspect so he needed to get back on the ward (he'd been wandering all night). The main thing is that this makes them feel safe and calms them down because for the 2 guys in my dads ward that was their reality. One thought he was back on his farm, the other back on his old ship.

    I hope some of this helps - obviously every case is different but you've made the first important step and that is to try and get as much information as possible and not try and deal with this alone. Good luck.

  5. #15
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    You can read all the leaflets you like, but a personal story and advice like that from Bristol White is extremely valuable. Thanks very much for taking so much time and trouble to construct such a helpful post.

  6. #16
    Investor Liberation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    You can read all the leaflets you like, but a personal story and advice like that from Bristol White is extremely valuable. Thanks very much for taking so much time and trouble to construct such a helpful post.

    I think one thing has been established.... Full on assault and challenge is utterly pointless... Go with the flow and compromise is they way forward...In short patience and sympathy... best of luck.
    Vote For John Brown

  7. #17
    Manager marsbars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prestonmadhouse View Post
    Even though she passed the doctors assessment, doesnít mean that she does not have dementia or something similar. You can go back to the doctor alone and explain all the things that youíre experiencing. It helps build a case for her to get recognition and treatment.
    As for correcting her or pulling her up, it quite possibly will be a waste of time, as she will become very defensive and upset.
    Itís all part of dementia and itís not really her fault.
    Good luck with going forward with your family.
    I agree. GP's refer into specialist services for specialist assessments and I think that's whats needed
    Alex Neil ďThis club has had a certain style for four years and Iím trying to change that and the style I want to play is the complete opposite to that.Ē

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