Caring for others

222Mark

Serial killer of note
Patron
Ha so here goes, I say to my mrs if I ever end up like this, take me to the vets and have me put down.

Mother in law is 80 ish, we do everything for her and we dont mind to be honest, we do even more for her during covid as we are her "bubble" as it would be. But christ she's testing. If I had a friend that carried on like her she wouldn't be a friend.

She's as deaf as a post but won't admit it, she sits 2 feet in front of her tv with the volume at 75.

She's so sharp with everyone including us I'm surprised anybody keeps in touch.

Bitter is the word I'd use for her, not a good word to say about anyone, she has great neighbours but alls she does is slag them off, even moans about where they position their wheelie bins in their back gardens.

No interest at all in anything we do, my mrs despairs, no empathy for anyone, as cold as they come.

We should have been driving her to London for a family wedding in the summer but covid put paid to that and we were bloody relieved, sadly we'll have to go through it next summer.

Xmas day this year will be a nightmare, we usually have some peace and quiet as she goes away with her sisters for a week but this year she's coming out for dinner with us, last time we took her out and I paid for everything, she moaned about everything but then when we got home she said " well I really enjoyed that, thank you" 😂

After 30 mins with her you've lost the will to live, when you hear the phrase that someone lights up a room when they walk into it, she has the opposite effect. But at the end of the day she'd be knackered without us and she my mrs mum, so we do what we have to do. If me and my mrs ever have a niggle, it's only ever about her mum.

Families eh.

Ps, and to cap it all off she's a bloody tory voting brexiteer closet racist.
 

Winkytinky

GTTO
Patron
Ha so here goes, I say to my mrs if I ever end up like this, take me to the vets and have me put down.

Mother in law is 80 ish, we do everything for her and we dont mind to be honest, we do even more for her during covid as we are her "bubble" as it would be. But christ she's testing. If I had a friend that carried on like her she wouldn't be a friend.

She's as deaf as a post but won't admit it, she sits 2 feet in front of her tv with the volume at 75.

She's so sharp with everyone including us I'm surprised anybody keeps in touch.

Bitter is the word I'd use for her, not a good word to say about anyone, she has great neighbours but alls she does is slag them off, even moans about where they position their wheelie bins in their back gardens.

No interest at all in anything we do, my mrs despairs, no empathy for anyone, as cold as they come.

We should have been driving her to London for a family wedding in the summer but covid put paid to that and we were bloody relieved, sadly we'll have to go through it next summer.

Xmas day this year will be a nightmare, we usually have some peace and quiet as she goes away with her sisters for a week but this year she's coming out for dinner with us, last time we took her out and I paid for everything, she moaned about everything but then when we got home she said " well I really enjoyed that, thank you" 😂

After 30 mins with her you've lost the will to live, when you hear the phrase that someone lights up a room when they walk into it, she has the opposite effect. But at the end of the day she'd be knackered without us and she my mrs mum, so we do what we have to do. If me and my mrs ever have a niggle, it's only ever about her mum.

Families eh.

Ps, and to cap it all off she's a bloody tory voting brexiteer closet racist.
That's a lot to contend with (especially the Tory/brexit bit) 😉have you spoken to your wife about how your MIL was previously and if she's always been like that?

I spend a lot of time around the elderly and I see them around their family on occasion and can see there's a difference in personality sometimes in how they speak to their loved ones and how they speak to others (like carers/nurses) I think the saying "you take it out on those you love the most" has a lot of truth in it when people are frustrated within themselves, not to say that excuses rudeness and bad manners though.

I bet just venting on here is a small help. You didn't marry your MIL but you're doing the right thing by your wife by doing all you do for her Mother 👍
 

Strongbow

Forum Patron
Patron
That's a lot to contend with (especially the Tory/brexit bit) 😉have you spoken to your wife about how your MIL was previously and if she's always been like that?

I spend a lot of time around the elderly and I see them around their family on occasion and can see there's a difference in personality sometimes in how they speak to their loved ones and how they speak to others (like carers/nurses) I think the saying "you take it out on those you love the most" has a lot of truth in it when people are frustrated within themselves, not to say that excuses rudeness and bad manners though.

I bet just venting on here is a small help. You didn't marry your MIL but you're doing the right thing by your wife by doing all you do for her Mother 👍

That's make a lots of sense Winks, seen/heard that myself in my own family and like you say most likely born of of their frustrations at failing health or loss of independance.

Keep your chin up Marky lad (y)
 

Joanpne

Forum Patron
Patron
Ha so here goes, I say to my mrs if I ever end up like this, take me to the vets and have me put down.

Mother in law is 80 ish, we do everything for her and we dont mind to be honest, we do even more for her during covid as we are her "bubble" as it would be. But christ she's testing. If I had a friend that carried on like her she wouldn't be a friend.

She's as deaf as a post but won't admit it, she sits 2 feet in front of her tv with the volume at 75.

She's so sharp with everyone including us I'm surprised anybody keeps in touch.

Bitter is the word I'd use for her, not a good word to say about anyone, she has great neighbours but alls she does is slag them off, even moans about where they position their wheelie bins in their back gardens.

No interest at all in anything we do, my mrs despairs, no empathy for anyone, as cold as they come.

We should have been driving her to London for a family wedding in the summer but covid put paid to that and we were bloody relieved, sadly we'll have to go through it next summer.

Xmas day this year will be a nightmare, we usually have some peace and quiet as she goes away with her sisters for a week but this year she's coming out for dinner with us, last time we took her out and I paid for everything, she moaned about everything but then when we got home she said " well I really enjoyed that, thank you" 😂

After 30 mins with her you've lost the will to live, when you hear the phrase that someone lights up a room when they walk into it, she has the opposite effect. But at the end of the day she'd be knackered without us and she my mrs mum, so we do what we have to do. If me and my mrs ever have a niggle, it's only ever about her mum.

Families eh.

Ps, and to cap it all off she's a bloody tory voting brexiteer closet racist.

I believe in karma Mark so you will be rewarded for your kindness, care and patience, it may be soon or in years but, it will come, of that, I am certain.
 

sussexrob

Forum Patron
Patron
Ha so here goes, I say to my mrs if I ever end up like this, take me to the vets and have me put down.

Mother in law is 80 ish, we do everything for her and we dont mind to be honest, we do even more for her during covid as we are her "bubble" as it would be. But christ she's testing. If I had a friend that carried on like her she wouldn't be a friend.

She's as deaf as a post but won't admit it, she sits 2 feet in front of her tv with the volume at 75.

She's so sharp with everyone including us I'm surprised anybody keeps in touch.

Bitter is the word I'd use for her, not a good word to say about anyone, she has great neighbours but alls she does is slag them off, even moans about where they position their wheelie bins in their back gardens.

No interest at all in anything we do, my mrs despairs, no empathy for anyone, as cold as they come.

We should have been driving her to London for a family wedding in the summer but covid put paid to that and we were bloody relieved, sadly we'll have to go through it next summer.

Xmas day this year will be a nightmare, we usually have some peace and quiet as she goes away with her sisters for a week but this year she's coming out for dinner with us, last time we took her out and I paid for everything, she moaned about everything but then when we got home she said " well I really enjoyed that, thank you" 😂

After 30 mins with her you've lost the will to live, when you hear the phrase that someone lights up a room when they walk into it, she has the opposite effect. But at the end of the day she'd be knackered without us and she my mrs mum, so we do what we have to do. If me and my mrs ever have a niggle, it's only ever about her mum.

Families eh.

Ps, and to cap it all off she's a bloody tory voting brexiteer closet racist.
Sorry to laugh this reminds me of this no relation i hope Mark (keep up the good work)
 

222Mark

Serial killer of note
Patron
That's a lot to contend with (especially the Tory/brexit bit) 😉have you spoken to your wife about how your MIL was previously and if she's always been like that?

I spend a lot of time around the elderly and I see them around their family on occasion and can see there's a difference in personality sometimes in how they speak to their loved ones and how they speak to others (like carers/nurses) I think the saying "you take it out on those you love the most" has a lot of truth in it when people are frustrated within themselves, not to say that excuses rudeness and bad manners though.

I bet just venting on here is a small help. You didn't marry your MIL but you're doing the right thing by your wife by doing all you do for her Mother 👍
Thanks Winkster
 

222Mark

Serial killer of note
Patron
That's make a lots of sense Winks, seen/heard that myself in my own family and like you say most likely born of of their frustrations at failing health or loss of independance.

Keep your chin up Marky lad (y)
Yep, she's got worse since we lost the father in law, but when I ever try to speak to her about how she is I'm met with a kind of denial from her.

I'll be ok, takes a lot more than this to grind me down.
 
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