OYNB

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I've only just seen this section of the forum recently. So I thought I'd post on here as I don't know anyone so I find it easier to say how I'm feeling.
The thread title OYNB. One year no beer. It's a challenge I'm setting myself from January. I find myself turning to the ale most nights. Not to get hammered. Often I'll have 4 or 5 beers, half a bottle of wine or a couple of small whisky. But I feel quitting will help my mindset.

Onto my mindset. I don't really know the word to describe how I'm feeling. Maybe under pressure is appropriate. I am a full time dad of 2 kids 10 and 8. My family have alienated me. I have a very on off relationship with a woman I adore and who I believe adores me. I work a very low paid part time job which I am underperforming in. I am trying to launch a business that helps people save and make money yet I'm getting nowhere. I'm skint at the end of every month. I have just fought a custody battle with my ex (I won but it was still draining).

I don't expect any replies but i think i feel better for putting it into words
 

Adam .

First Team
Good on you for trying it mate and help it helps.

It is each to their own and whatever you feel is going to help you best, but if I could offer once suggestion, it would be to start your year prior to Christmas and get that period out of the way firstly.

That is what I did and managing to stay dry through a Christmas gave me a lot of momentum into the new year and beyond. It would then also serve as something as a added motivation for next Christmas, knowing you will have achieved a year sober by that point and can indulge if you so wish guilt free.

Either way, credit to you for raising to the challenge, good luck and I hope it helps you 👍🏻
 
OP
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I get your point mate. However I need that focus point of when to start. It worked with me quitting smoking 10 years ago.

How long was you dry for if you don't mind me asking?
 

MBcha

Forum Patron
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Good for you. I've done six months dry a couple of years ago and am intending to do it again next year also, its a tremendous help to mood and physical health also.

Best of luck to you in your challenge, if you slip up and have a wine with a meal one night, dont beat yourself up, were only human, but most importantly don't jack it in, start again the following day.
 
OP
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I did a month dry mid September to mid October. And I honestly enjoyed it. It was just habit that I fell back into having a beer
 

pnewortham

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I've only just seen this section of the forum recently. So I thought I'd post on here as I don't know anyone so I find it easier to say how I'm feeling.
The thread title OYNB. One year no beer. It's a challenge I'm setting myself from January. I find myself turning to the ale most nights. Not to get hammered. Often I'll have 4 or 5 beers, half a bottle of wine or a couple of small whisky. But I feel quitting will help my mindset.

Onto my mindset. I don't really know the word to describe how I'm feeling. Maybe under pressure is appropriate. I am a full time dad of 2 kids 10 and 8. My family have alienated me. I have a very on off relationship with a woman I adore and who I believe adores me. I work a very low paid part time job which I am underperforming in. I am trying to launch a business that helps people save and make money yet I'm getting nowhere. I'm skint at the end of every month. I have just fought a custody battle with my ex (I won but it was still draining).

I don't expect any replies but i think i feel better for putting it into words
Think it's quality that you've written this and are willing to share your personal situation. Massive credit.

2 things - your life is busy enough and you're working bloody hard. Why commit to an entire year of no alcohol, is that a recipe for disappointment, could you start with a month and see how it goes? Mate of mine did dry January, and 3 years later hasn't touched a drop.

You're starting a business in covid-times. That's bloody hard too. Next year will be miles better than this. And the year after will be miles better still. If it's viable and you're passionate, stick with it.
 

MBcha

Forum Patron
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Did you struggle at any point MBcha? If so how did you stay on track?
Distract yourself. Find something to occupy yourself. If the habit is have a beer while your watching telly then change your routine, I got into building a bike last time I did it, kept my mind and hands busy.
 
OP
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Think it's quality that you've written this and are willing to share your personal situation. Massive credit.

2 things - your life is busy enough and you're working bloody hard. Why commit to an entire year of no alcohol, is that a recipe for disappointment, could you start with a month and see how it goes? Mate of mine did dry January, and 3 years later hasn't touched a drop.

You're starting a business in covid-times. That's bloody hard too. Next year will be miles better than this. And the year after will be miles better still. If it's viable and you're passionate, stick with it.
The reason I'm committing to a year is because if I commit to just January I'll have my mind set on a good drink Feb 1st.

The business is a franchise so to speak for a national company so it's absolutely viable. I just need to get better at it I suppose
 
OP
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Distract yourself. Find something to occupy yourself. If the habit is have a beer while your watching telly then change your routine, I got into building a bike last time I did it, kept my mind and hands busy.
I've ordered a workout bench and punch bag to keep my fit. And I intend on reading. I just know there will be times I'm tempted to go get 4 cans from the shop when I should do a workout or a couple of chapters. Mind over matter I suppose
 

paddysr

Bearded Beauty
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Every credit. You've been through an awful lot by the sounds of things. Good to have targets in mind.
 
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Cheers paddy. I'm not down or sad as such. I'm very blessed to have my kids full time and a baby I share 50/50 with her mum. It's more pressure than anything. Hence why I like a beer to take the edge off
 

pnewortham

Forum Patron
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The reason I'm committing to a year is because if I commit to just January I'll have my mind set on a good drink Feb 1st.

The business is a franchise so to speak for a national company so it's absolutely viable. I just need to get better at it I suppose
Can relate to the business. Got a few friends in similar franchise / network marketing type things, get quite involved on the local business scene with them. I'm guessing you can't get out to meet many people right now but you can definitely spend the time reading, learning & planning. Good luck with it.
 

Mer5eywhite

Forum Patron
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Well done on the custody battle. That means so much and should be a source of happiness and relief.
As for the day to day stuff, nobody can possibly know exactly what you’re going through but many of us will have experienced something similar. Advice is full of cliches, ‘one day at a time’, ‘there’s always someone worse off’, etc etc but the thing is they’re all true.

Good luck and remember when you’re experiencing troubles it also means you’re getting through them.
 

jakehake

Preachs PA
Staff member
Patron
You sound like you’re doing better than a lot of people so that’s a win for you. Congrats on the custody too can’t have been easy and draining both during and now you have them full time. The franchise sounds like a good focal point so may well help with your other challenges if you’ve got parenting and a new work challenge.
 
OP
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I had them full time anyway so I've kept them rather than winning them (appalling terminology but you get my point). Yes the franchise is an exceptional opportunity. I just need to tell more people I suppose and hopefully they will take me up on it
 

sports rehab

Advisor to the Owner
I've only just seen this section of the forum recently. So I thought I'd post on here as I don't know anyone so I find it easier to say how I'm feeling.
The thread title OYNB. One year no beer. It's a challenge I'm setting myself from January. I find myself turning to the ale most nights. Not to get hammered. Often I'll have 4 or 5 beers, half a bottle of wine or a couple of small whisky. But I feel quitting will help my mindset.

Onto my mindset. I don't really know the word to describe how I'm feeling. Maybe under pressure is appropriate. I am a full time dad of 2 kids 10 and 8. My family have alienated me. I have a very on off relationship with a woman I adore and who I believe adores me. I work a very low paid part time job which I am underperforming in. I am trying to launch a business that helps people save and make money yet I'm getting nowhere. I'm skint at the end of every month. I have just fought a custody battle with my ex (I won but it was still draining).

I don't expect any replies but i think i feel better for putting it into words
I stopped drinking 40 years ago and havent had a drop since..... I was 6 nights a week at the time (not heavy but often) and the catalyst to stop was my mum having a heart attack ( it was just her and me at the time). I made the decision to do something positive with the time I was wasting in pubs etc and though that is my story I do think 'stopping anything' without finding a 'good replacement' is difficult..... especially when we arent allowed to do anything.....

Hopefully, without knowing how old your kids are, they can join groups or clubs in 2021 that you could volunteer to hep at... I helped start a youth club back then with 2 friends who had kids. I've been involved in children / youth work ever since in some capacity - through my kids; my work and my hobbies....

I guess I'm saying try to see or do something positive from stopping.... maybe save the cash for the end of the month and celebrate with the kids.
 
OP
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40 years? Wow that's some going. They are involved in clubs already. I don't have time to volunteer with trying to get my business off the ground. Saving the cash for a monthly treat is a great idea.
 
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