Random thoughts.

[LostinSpace]

Get in.

I'll just call you smelly Nobb from now on.

 

[LostinSpace]

Why has the elastic on my underpants started rolling over at the front?

I think you already know the answer to that! Fatty.

 

[Sid Snot]

Why has the elastic on my underpants started rolling over at the front?

What was your waist size pre-pandemic? What is your waist size today?

 

[sussexrob]

Has Raefil ever voted Tory?

 

[MBcha]

I wish I could make the voices stop.

 

[Adam .]

We are now closer to the 2050’s, than the 80’s

 

[Korol]

Today is the oldest you have ever been, and the youngest you ever will be.

 

[OOOO3]

Do animals from different countries speak different languages? And do they have accents if from different parts of the same country?

 

[Spavin Stardust]

Do animals from different countries speak different languages? And do they have accents if from different parts of the same country?

Yes. Cows from different parts of the country have a different accent to their moo.

 

[northender0602]

some of us may be over the hill, but it’s better than being under it.

 

[MBcha]

Is Greg Clarke stupid?

 

[NORTHENDRTOPS]

Why is it that turds are tapered ? If they weren't, would it mean your arse would close with a bang ?

 

[Adam .]

Whoever created the tradition of blokes not seeing the bride before the wedding, has saved blokes countless hours of having to go dress shopping and being asked a thousand times “what do you think of this one”?

That person is a hero.

 

[Sid Snot]

Why is it that turds are tapered ? If they weren't, would it mean your arse would close with a bang ?

It would thwack shut.

 

[Sid Snot]

Mrs S bought me two ties last Xmas. I put one on. She says 'What's wrong with the other one'.

 

[Adam .]

If a city gets nuked, there is likely a certain distance of the radius where all the frozen supermarket pizzas are going to be cooked to perfection.

 

[MrHodgeheg123]

Mrs S bought me two ties last Xmas. I put one on. She says 'What's wrong with the other one'.

Oh so true.

 

[Henrys Cat]

I once wrote a 5 A4 page proof of why 27 divided by 5 was 5 remainder 2. Still not forgiven that lecturer.

Similar to this old classic. 3 ladies (could easily be 3 men) go into an electrical shop to buy a Radio. They choose one and it’s £30, so they pay £10 each. Shop owner says to the assistant, “they are friends of mine, knock em a fiver off”. Assistant thinks, “ I can’t split the fiver between 3, so he gives them £1 each and puts £2 in his pocket.

So, now they’ve each paid £9. Times that by 3 and that’s £27. Plus the £2 the assistant put in his pocket. That makes £29........ where’s the other quid gone

 

[pnewortham]

Similar to this old classic. 3 ladies (could easily be 3 men) go into an electrical shop to buy a Radio. They choose one and it’s £30, so they pay £10 each. Shop owner says to the assistant, “they are friends of mine, knock em a fiver off”. Assistant thinks, “ I can’t split the fiver between 3, so he gives them £1 each and puts £2 in his pocket.

So, now they’ve each paid £9. Times that by 3 and that’s £27. Plus the £2 the assistant put in his pocket. That makes £29........ where’s the other quid gone

Are we allowed to give the answer or do you want to build the tension first?

 

[Dirty Harry]

Why do jam butties always fall jam side to
t'carpet?

It's because of the extra weight of the jam on the jam side, Sid.