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Your Daily Profanisaurus

shitstopper: n. An unexpectedly large household bill, derived from the practice of reading the mail whilst on the toilet.
 
beanbagging: n. A very specific form of teabagging where either Sean Bean or Rowan Atkinson lower their sack into the mouth of a lucky lady
 
heavy wetter: n. An extravagant spender; a gentleman who produces a large amount of heir gel when he goes off. Also known as a milkman.
 
Forsyth: v. To play the generation game; to have romantic liaisons with both mother and daughter.
 
thesbian: n. A porn flick actress who does girl on girl professionally, but doesn't play for both sides in real life.
 
Bay of Pigs: n. 1. Some sort of Cuban shenanigans in the 1960s involving Russian missiles and President Kennedy. 2. n. A humorous reference to the state of Blackpool beach in the summer.
 
shit in a doorway, stand out like a: sim. '"What do you think of my new trousers Jeeves?', I expostulated. 'These knee-length houndstooth twill bags are all the go at the Drones Club this season, you know. I thought I'd wear them for Tuppy Glossop's wake tomorrow, but I'm wondering if they might not be a little ostentatious for such a sombre bash.' 'Ostentatious isn't, if you'll excuse me for saying so, sir, the word,' opined the perspicacious manservant. 'If you wear them kecks for a funeral, I can guarantee that you'll stand out like a shit in a doorway.' (from I Was Only FOllowing Orders, Jeeves by PG Wodehouse.
 
wank: 1. n. Rubbish; nonsense. "That is a load of wank". 2. n. Masturbation. "That was a dead good wank. 3. v. To masturbate. "I really enjoy wanking".
 
turtle's head: n. The initial protrusion of a stool through the chocolate starfish; the point at which contracts are exchanged for the building of a log cabin. See also touching cloth.
 
kangaroo shagging a space hopper: sim. sexually energetic; promiscuous. As in "Phoarr"! She goes like a kangaroo shagging a space hopper".
 
rear gunner: n. In aviation terms, a gunner who shoots one of his own aircraft by firing his lamb cannon into the bomb bay.
 
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